I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
