He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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