Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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