It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize