Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
