we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Is it because I queefed?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
