She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
