are you still at the devil's house?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
