I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
How external is "for external use only"?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
