Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
