i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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