What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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