i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
