This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
