last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize