My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
