You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
