my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Sorry my hands just texted you
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
