dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize