Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
