I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
