you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
