well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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