he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
