Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
