grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
