I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
