You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
