Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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