chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
