she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
