I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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