Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize