why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
