woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
