when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
