Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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