doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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