Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
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The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
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I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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