I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
