dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
