I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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