I bet he comes in French.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize