Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
