new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
