i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
