Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
no you cant smoke seaweed
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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