At least make sure they are 18
Why
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
