So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
