Your tits are I can't wait for
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
