Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
