If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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