I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
