he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
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Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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