I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
