dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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