i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
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Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
God I need to hump something, right now.
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