the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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