elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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