I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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