I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Cover your peen. We're going out.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize