Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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