i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
