I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Randomize