I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
