see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Text me some of your sweat
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