I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
