Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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