On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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